I've been living in Washington for about three months now. Ninety or so days is an adequate amount of time, I suppose, to judge the musings and behaviors of a given citizenry. Frankly, calling Washingtonians anything but a citizenry registers as a bit of a demerit. We in Washington are a different breed. We don't live in a state. We don't have representation. Taxes are levied rather heavily. And our driver's licenses are often judged by other states as poorly faked (or so I hear). How do we deal with all this, and other challenges? I've compiled a silly but honest shortlist of truths. While they don't encompass the entire experience that is living and working in the DC metro area, they're definitely the top seven.
2) We HATE tourists. When we see them on the metro, we slap on an irritated face and avoid contact at all costs. They interrupt our morning commutes, don't know how to use public transit, wander loudly through the streets with their fanny packs and fat asses and are a general nuisance. We don't really have issues with mice or cockroaches. Another infestation instead occurs: tourists. They go to the markets and chat up vendors, preventing true Washingtonians from buying groceries. They constantly get lost and beg for directions (really though, really? in an era of smartphones?). We have to weave around them on our morning runs (see above) and they take obnoxious pictures in front of our most prized possessions: our monuments. They loudly walk around at 8 am in enormous tour groups with matching t-shirts. Ick. Gross. We hate them. And if a bunch of us get together at any time, we all commiserate in our distaste for them.
3) We drink. In #1, I pointed out that our jobs are HORRENDOUS. There are a multitude of ways to change and/or forget that reality, but they all involve one thing: alcohol. Whether you're networking to find a new job, unloading about your week to your friends, or trying to impress your coworkers, all the important career moves are made over beers and vodka tonics. At this stage in life, we know how to hold our alcohol (at least when it matters) and thus make our best impressions when we're a little buzzed. The best nights I've had here have involved peach-cinnamon moonshine or Kir Royales on rooftops. If you aren't still at work between the hours of 4 p.m. and 7 p.m., you're missing out on everything important. And everything that keeps you sane.
4) We are bilingual. Just about everyone I've met is fluent in Spanish, French, or Arabic, AND is learning another language as part of their professional development. With the federal government located here, almost everyone is a contractor, works for the state department, the CIA, or the FBI. And if that isn't the case, they're somehow, someway, someday interested in foreign affairs or international development. As part of all the networking we do, saying a few words in Russian, Malay, or Swahili can go far. Really far. Landing the dream job far. However, our interest in language isn't purely for advancement's sake. We can all talk for hours about our love of languages, even if everyone isn't absorbent to them. We were raised in a world that globalizes more with each passing second, and detest the stereotype that all Americans only speak English or expect everyone to speak English. The best foreign relationships are the ones that are maintained by intercultural communication. We'd like to be a part of the solution. Case closed!
5) We LOVE cupcakes. Baked and Wired. Georgetown Cupcake. Hello Cupcake. The Sweet Lobby. Buzz. Tout de Sweet. Sprinkles. According to Yelp, there are over one hundred different chains of individual cupcake shops in DC, not counting Maryland or Virginia metro areas. ONE HUNDRED. Everyone has their preference and refuses to entertain divergent opinions on who makes the best cupcake. Cupcake culture thrives here more than any other city in the US (although, I concede that New York City is probably a close second or rival). Why? We love working out and eating well, and a cupcake is the perfect size! It's an acceptable indulgence, doesn't cost much, and the best way to finish off a meal. Office party? CUPCAKES! Birthday celebration? CUPCAKES! I've recently seen baby shower cupcakes and wedding reception cupcakes on Facebook, not to mention that most swanky events and networking happy hours I've been to have featured at least three dozen of the things. Before I moved to DC, my cupcake preference was to take them or leave them. They can be messy and melty, right? And yet...
6) We read. On our morning commutes, about half of the professionals are reading The Economist. And if we're not reading that, we're leafing through Elizabeth Barrett Browning's poems or Garcia-Marquez' One Hundred Years of Solitude. The metro and bus rides are long to get to work, and a lot of us make that sacrifice to live where we want to live (or are compelled to live because of budgeting and leases). But it's more than the commute; it's a lifestyle that I imagine accompanies intelligent, driven people. There's no such thing as a day you don't learn something, and if you aren't learning anything in your deadbeat job, your thirst for knowledge grows each passing hour. Book clubs are the second biggest Meetup category in DC, and there's no wondering why that is. Whether we're trying to recapture college's best moments in literature analyzation or just looking to meet other people, book club is where it's at!
7) We are transient by nature. My wonderful friend, Rachel, told me on my first weekend in DC that hardly anyone who comes into this town stays here for longer than five years. Being internationally minded and highly ambitious means we're used to moving around and don't typically put roots down for a long time. When you work for places like State and the CIA, you're constantly asked to move at a moment's notice, for an unknowable length of time. Sometimes you get lucky and stay. Sometimes, not so much. I thrive in this kind of environment, and most Washingtonians do. What's better than meeting new people with new experiences every time your friend group goes out? Next to nothing. We're the young adult world's melting pot, even if it can make long-distance friendships a little strained.
After what has been a long and horrible week in this city, this morning I woke up early and ran the length of the National Mall (which, I confess, was inspiration for this post). Something struck me rather heavily in those moments of quiet solitude, where all I could hear was the sound of my breath and the patter of other runner's feet on the gravel, and it was this. Entry level work is abysmal. It's dirty and thankless. The pay is horrible. The vacation doesn't exist. Regardless of intellect or superior education, you are a nobody. A scum. No one looks at you with respect and nearly everyone hates you. In order to survive, you have to have two things. The first is that you must live in a place that makes you happy. The second is that you need to be surrounded by people who are similar enough to you that you can commiserate, and know they'll love you no matter what. A new family, as it were.
When I "unplugged" from work and technology this morning, I realized that the indescribable and amazing feeling that comes with living in the District of Columbia never really goes away. It hibernates when you're caught up in the daily grind from hell, with long commutes, silent offices, grimaces, and terrible food. That experience can be had anywhere in the world. But not all entry level nobodies get to spend quiet early morning moments at the reflecting pond between the Capitol and the Washington Monument. Important, beautiful, monumental things happen in this city. And somehow, waking up in the middle of it all makes me feel like I, too, and a part of something greater.
